give your emotions space.
Giving your emotions SPACE.
If you follow me on Instagram you may have heard me say this one or three thousand times, "give your emotions space." Its something I heard a few months ago from @mindfulcounseling as well as my own therapist, and the idea has changed the way I look at my feelings for-freaking-ever.
A little back story.
Growing up my father told me I could only cry when I was bleeding, "no blood, no foul". That was the household rule. My first boyfriend told me I was "too emotional" and taught me how to apologize for expressing my emotions. Fast forward to meeting the boyfriend I just broke up with. He wouldn't let me apologize for my emotions, he wanted me to express when I was upset, and during that year and a half relationship my world, outside of us, was crumbling. Me being able to express myself honestly, was the best part of our relationship.
Present day. Single. Proud of myself for making some very scary decisions, for saying no, for standing up for myself, I find that I am suppressing my emotions again. The exact opposite of giving them space. You see to give your emotions space means to acknowledge them, you know they are valid, it means to express them, to scream when you're mad or cry when you're sad. You know that pain in your chest when you hold back tears, THAT is what we want to avoid.
Space also means I take notice of my emotions and actually talk myself through them. It often reduces the length of time I am sad or mad or upset, and lets me acknowledge and respect the way I am feeling and process the why. Why am I feeling this way? "I am upset because I was wronged, my heart hurts because I miss him, I am crying because ..." You get the picture.
Giving your emotions space can be something you do privately, after a long day, in your office on your lunch break, its the opposite of bottling them up or sweeping them away. Let you body tell you it needs to release these emotions, and respect your body enough to do so.
Also, I share this stuff on Instagram because I know I am not alone, and I know I am going to reach someone who is hearing this for the first time, or needs to hear it now. Community, support, we all need it. If you know someone who needs a little hug, pay it forward, show them their emotions are VALID and respected and they are allowed to feel them.
give your emotions a little space today. let them be heard.